everyone learned past tense, present tense and future tenses during english.
no matter what kind of tenses it was(continuous, or past prefect,or participle),
it occurs in life.
i've never thought of speaking up my past feelings and experiences to anyone before.
even my BFFs.
never once did i.
what changed my mind?
sandra! x)
i realised that,
speaking it out something hidden deep beneath really do help a lot in letting those awful memories go.
so, here i am. :)
what i'm talking about now,
is every girl's treasured moments,
their 1st relationship aka 1st love?
well, typically speaking la, or course. haha.
____PAST____
looking back at my 1st relationship.
it took place in primary school.
haha, it was naive back then.
but all the feelings were true. :)
until...
an intruder broke in.
this intruder, sarcastically speaking,
is my best friend.
i've never got the chance for realising what was happening until one day,
*boom* the whole world was upside down.
those days, our peer consist of 4ppl.
me, him, mary and her.
to make things straight,
the boy and i got together because of some mary's help.
but then she came along, masked as a 'bridemom'?
at first, i wasn't alert for such things to happen. (eventhough till the end, i still wasn't alert.)
aft he and her came together without a slight prediction,
i was SUDDENLY awake.
i could see things clearly now.
(yes people, i was stupid and slow that time to notice a single thing between them. ==)
she's a two-face.
i was terribly confused.
she told me that she likes andy (another friend of mine),
but how come she suddenly liked him?
and how the hell are they both together within one night's time?
i couldn't understand.
i couldn't understand a single thing she did and said all along.
i'm betrayed by a friend i believed with my whole heart and mind.
when i saw it with my own eyes,
i told myself that maybe they're just fooling around.
because i know, for sure, i don't wanna believe what's in front of me.
i don't wanna surrender to what reality is telling me.
till now, i still can't find any words to describe what i feel.
no words to express.
not even a single one.
a very sad thing is,
she never felt guilty about being the intruder and snatching away my boy.
whenever i saw them two together coming from the north,
i would simply just escape to the south.
it was awkward though.
no matter how hard and how i planned to escape,
she will eventually just show up with him.
realising she's obviously doing EVERYTHING in front of me.
there was this particular event,
that i felt i was totally out of my mind to trust her as my best friend.
we 4, had taken a picture together before the chaos.
bcoz i clearly remember that,
it was the time when the photosticker machine was just out and available in kk.
and we were so thrilled to go for a try.
then aft she snatched my boy successfully,
she even told me that,
"ei, u know wat dexter told me? he says his mom very like me o..and i'm the prettiest among u, me and mary warhh"
walao, ciu.
my mind was blank when she said this to me FACE-TO-FACE.
so, what is she trying to say?
is she trying to say that she's a whore?
well, her point is being made clearly,
she is a complete bitch and a sucker whore.
HER WORDS WAS MY ALARM.
chiong loke hsin,
was entirely awakened from her fairytales.
____present____
i'm not blaming her for anything.
i'm just really sad that,
"you were my friend.
and you have had my complete trust.
why can't you just come clean to me?
look at mary, she likes dexter too.
but did she do anything? NO!
she told me, but no action was taken.
not a single one.
but as a matter of fact,
she clamped me and him together.
so can you see the difference of a true person and a fake one?
damn.
i don't know how ur brain works.
you are a top student with straight As in UPSR, PMR, UEC and SPM.
is ur common logical sense dead or are your results money-paid?
you've earned my respect before.
but now, you've lost it all.
you're just nothing but a failure,
and my respect for someone isn't that cheap.
the world doesn't revolve around you.
biatch!"
i do believe that my 1st relationship aka 1st love is one of my treasured moments.
it had a big impact on my growing up.
i had learned to become a person who's more sensitive to people and environment.
also, i'm grateful that i have friends unlike her and able to differentiate who's real and who's not.
most important of all,
i've learned to treat everyone with sincerity.
____FUTURE____
i now don't give a damn to her and the boy.
and further will not.
frankly speaking,
i'm fond of myself.
i'm now living a better life than both of them.
i have a lot of friends, some who truly cares for me, some who stands for me even time passes unforgivingly.
and also,
a caring mr. W.
i'm proud of myself. :)
the betrayal had made an impact on me.
and time has proved it all.
i'm glad to see that i'm no longer affected by what has occured in the past.
and i do agree that i'm more forgiving than before.
i guess, i've move on.
:)
no matter how terrible those times were,
i'm still grateful that it did occured in my life.
i've learned mistakes from it, and i did grow up.
no matter what kind of tenses it was(continuous, or past prefect,or participle),
it occurs in life.
i've never thought of speaking up my past feelings and experiences to anyone before.
even my BFFs.
never once did i.
what changed my mind?
sandra! x)
i realised that,
speaking it out something hidden deep beneath really do help a lot in letting those awful memories go.
so, here i am. :)
what i'm talking about now,
is every girl's treasured moments,
their 1st relationship aka 1st love?
well, typically speaking la, or course. haha.
____PAST____
looking back at my 1st relationship.
it took place in primary school.
haha, it was naive back then.
but all the feelings were true. :)
until...
an intruder broke in.
this intruder, sarcastically speaking,
is my best friend.
i've never got the chance for realising what was happening until one day,
*boom* the whole world was upside down.
those days, our peer consist of 4ppl.
me, him, mary and her.
to make things straight,
the boy and i got together because of some mary's help.
but then she came along, masked as a 'bridemom'?
at first, i wasn't alert for such things to happen. (eventhough till the end, i still wasn't alert.)
aft he and her came together without a slight prediction,
i was SUDDENLY awake.
i could see things clearly now.
(yes people, i was stupid and slow that time to notice a single thing between them. ==)
she's a two-face.
i was terribly confused.
she told me that she likes andy (another friend of mine),
but how come she suddenly liked him?
and how the hell are they both together within one night's time?
i couldn't understand.
i couldn't understand a single thing she did and said all along.
i'm betrayed by a friend i believed with my whole heart and mind.
when i saw it with my own eyes,
i told myself that maybe they're just fooling around.
because i know, for sure, i don't wanna believe what's in front of me.
i don't wanna surrender to what reality is telling me.
till now, i still can't find any words to describe what i feel.
no words to express.
not even a single one.
a very sad thing is,
she never felt guilty about being the intruder and snatching away my boy.
whenever i saw them two together coming from the north,
i would simply just escape to the south.
it was awkward though.
no matter how hard and how i planned to escape,
she will eventually just show up with him.
realising she's obviously doing EVERYTHING in front of me.
there was this particular event,
that i felt i was totally out of my mind to trust her as my best friend.
we 4, had taken a picture together before the chaos.
bcoz i clearly remember that,
it was the time when the photosticker machine was just out and available in kk.
and we were so thrilled to go for a try.
then aft she snatched my boy successfully,
she even told me that,
"ei, u know wat dexter told me? he says his mom very like me o..and i'm the prettiest among u, me and mary warhh"
walao, ciu.
my mind was blank when she said this to me FACE-TO-FACE.
so, what is she trying to say?
is she trying to say that she's a whore?
well, her point is being made clearly,
she is a complete bitch and a sucker whore.
HER WORDS WAS MY ALARM.
chiong loke hsin,
was entirely awakened from her fairytales.
____present____
i'm not blaming her for anything.
i'm just really sad that,
"you were my friend.
and you have had my complete trust.
why can't you just come clean to me?
look at mary, she likes dexter too.
but did she do anything? NO!
she told me, but no action was taken.
not a single one.
but as a matter of fact,
she clamped me and him together.
so can you see the difference of a true person and a fake one?
damn.
i don't know how ur brain works.
you are a top student with straight As in UPSR, PMR, UEC and SPM.
is ur common logical sense dead or are your results money-paid?
you've earned my respect before.
but now, you've lost it all.
you're just nothing but a failure,
and my respect for someone isn't that cheap.
the world doesn't revolve around you.
biatch!"
i do believe that my 1st relationship aka 1st love is one of my treasured moments.
it had a big impact on my growing up.
i had learned to become a person who's more sensitive to people and environment.
also, i'm grateful that i have friends unlike her and able to differentiate who's real and who's not.
most important of all,
i've learned to treat everyone with sincerity.
____FUTURE____
i now don't give a damn to her and the boy.
and further will not.
frankly speaking,
i'm fond of myself.
i'm now living a better life than both of them.
i have a lot of friends, some who truly cares for me, some who stands for me even time passes unforgivingly.
and also,
a caring mr. W.
i'm proud of myself. :)
the betrayal had made an impact on me.
and time has proved it all.
i'm glad to see that i'm no longer affected by what has occured in the past.
and i do agree that i'm more forgiving than before.
i guess, i've move on.
:)
no matter how terrible those times were,
i'm still grateful that it did occured in my life.
i've learned mistakes from it, and i did grow up.
to you, just wanna thank you for being such a bitch.
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