screwing everything up.

omfg.
i'm really screwing everything up.

I MUST STOP!
spm is just 4 days away.

bm and sejarah on the first day.
but i havent even start anything.
not even the most-facts-to-handle-subject, sejarah!!

btw,
got my transcript result yesterday.
kanasai.

my average marks are back into 2008 first sem,
i'm very unsatisfied with myself.

i've worked so hard since 2008 2nd semester until 2009's mid term.
the form position increased from 54 into 29!
walao, even i myself couldn't believe it at that moment!

but now,
everything is back to the beginning.

my form position stepped back in a double digit.
29 >> 49!

!@#%$

i knew that i lost the spirit since april 2009.

i don't understand what have i been distracted to.

i can't revise on my own.

luckily, i'm still able to concentrate during class.

i did tried my best to find the spirit back.
but i've failed.

ok now,

i'll cut the crap.
i know this is all an excuse.
i have to stop giving myself lousy excuses.

i have worked hard before this.
now, why can't i work hard again?

like pauyee said,
tabah study, gigih offline.
i think this is the main remedy.

seriously,
i MUST get back into the battling mode.

fuck you spm!